What Is Grief? Understanding the Journey of Loss

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” ~Psalm 34:18

Will I ever get through this?

At some point in our lives, we all experience the pain of losing someone or something that matters deeply to us. In those moments, it can feel as though we will never make it to the other side of our grief.

For years, I experienced loss without realizing that what I was feeling was grief. I’ve experienced the loss of a child, job, community, identity, friendships, a parent, and a marriage through divorce. My understanding of grief was limited until I began working in hospice. Looking back, I can see grief in many seasons of my life. Some losses involved death, while others involved unexpected changes, disappointments, and endings. At the time, I simply thought I needed to be stronger or move on. I didn’t realize I was grieving.

Through both personal experience and my work with patients and families, I learned that not every loss is the same, and no two grief journeys look alike. What deeply affects one person may affect another differently. Grief is personal because every relationship, circumstance, and loss is unique.

As I look back over the different seasons of loss in my life, I realize that I was never alone. God was with me before I cried out for help. He was with me in the middle of the pain. He was with me when I tried to avoid my thoughts and feelings. He was with me when I finally acknowledged my need for Him. And He was with me as I slowly moved forward.

Through it all, God was near—comforting, guiding, strengthening, and loving me. That is one of the greatest truths I have learned about grief: while loss may change our lives, we do not walk through it alone.

What is grief?

So, what exactly is grief, and why does it affect us so deeply?

Understanding grief does not remove the pain of loss, but it can help us recognize that what we are experiencing is a normal response to something significant. When we understand grief, we are often able to extend more compassion to ourselves and others.

Grief is the natural response to loss. Most often we associate grief with the death of someone we love, but grief can also follow divorce, illness, loss of a job, a broken relationship, or any significant life change.

Because grief reflects what mattered to us, the depth of our grief often reflects the depth of our love and connection. No two people grieve exactly alike. Even members of the same family may experience the same loss in very different ways.

Your grief is unique because your relationship, experiences, memories, and circumstances are unique. The losses I mentioned earlier did not affect me in the same way. Some losses brought sadness. Others brought confusion, anger, or uncertainty. Each one taught me something different about grief and about God’s faithfulness.

How Grief Touches Every Part of Our Lives

Emotionally: You may experience sadness, anger, loneliness, guilt, relief, numbness, or even moments of peace. These emotions can change from one day to the next or even from one hour to the next.

Physically: Grief is not just emotional. It can affect sleep, appetite, concentration, energy levels, and even cause headaches or a feeling of heaviness in the body.

Spiritually: Loss often raises difficult questions. Why did this happen? Where is God? What happens next? Grief can challenge faith, but it can also deepen it.

Relationally: Grief can feel isolating. Friends may not know what to say, and family members may grieve differently. Sometimes the people closest to us struggle to understand our experience.

One of the things I have observed as a chaplain is that people often worry they are grieving “wrong.” Yet grief rarely follows our expectations. Every person’s journey is different.

If you find yourself emotional one moment, exhausted the next, and questioning your faith the day after that, you are not failing. You are responding to a loss that matters.

Common Misconceptions About Grief:

Myth #1: There is a right way to grieve.

There isn’t. Every person’s grief journey is shaped by their relationship, personality, experiences, and circumstances.

Myth #2: Grief follows a predictable timeline.

It doesn’t. Some days may feel manageable, while others may feel overwhelming, even months or years later.

Myth #3: Being strong means not crying.

Tears are not a sign of weakness. They are often a natural expression of love, loss, and longing.

Myth #4: You should be over it by now.

One of the most common things I hear is, "I thought I would be doing better by now." Grief does not follow a schedule. Healing takes time, and every person's journey progresses differently.

Finding Hope in God’s Presence:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” ~Psalm 34:18

One of the most comforting truths in Scripture is that God does not withdraw from us when we are grieving. He moves toward us.

Psalm 34:18 does not promise that grief will disappear overnight. Instead, it promises God's presence in the middle of our pain. When our hearts are broken and words are difficult to find, God remains near.

Over the years, I have sat with many individuals and families as they experienced loss. In those sacred moments, I have witnessed the comfort of God's presence. Even when people felt overwhelmed by grief, many later shared that God had been walking with them all along.

If your heart feels heavy today, know that your grief is not invisible to God. He sees your tears, understands your pain, and walks with you through every step of this journey.

If you are grieving today, be gentle with yourself. Grief is not a problem to solve or a journey to rush through. It is a natural response to loss and an expression of love.

Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. Reach out for support when you need it. Most importantly, remember that you do not walk this path alone.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and He is close to you.

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Reflection:

1. Take a moment today to acknowledge your grief rather than push it away. What are you carrying that needs to be brought before God?

2. If you found this article helpful, I invite you to return for future posts as we continue exploring grief, healing, faith, and hope together.

Prayer:

Most gracious God, thank you for being present to those who are hurting and carrying grief. We thank you for your word that reminds us you are close to the brokenhearted. God, we lean on You for strength as we process our pain and learn to navigate this journey of grief. Help us not to rush through this journey but trust You for guidance as we remember those we loved and the experiences we have lost. Amen.

You do not have to walk through grief alone.

With hope and grace,

Teresa

Teresa McClennon, M.Div, BCC

Peaceful Purpose Grief & Spiritual Care

Disclaimer: This article is provided for educational and spiritual encouragement and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are struggling with overwhelming grief or emotional distress, please seek support from a licensed mental health professional, pastor, healthcare provider, or call or text 988 for immediate support.